So, why am I writing this blog? Probably for the same reason most people do, because I have something to say and my friends and family are tired of listening to me offering my well thought out and perfectly reasonable thoughts and opinions. Hard to believe isn't it? So I turn to you, the Internet audience (aka the three people who might read this) and I offer to you these things...
I've been torturing myself recently reading material posted by people who believe homosexuality is, to put it very nicely, not something that they agree with. I'll admit something here, I'm gay, homosexual, a lesbian, whatever you want to call it, that's what I am. So, if that bothers you, please hit the back button and find something to read that is more keeping in line with your world view. Thanks.
Anyone left? So, here's what I think about what these people believe...
Is homosexuality a choice? That my friends depends heavily on the on the definition or context of some words you use when answering the question. For example, do people have a choice to have sexual relations with someone of the same gender, well of course they do. Gay people have the same choices straight people have about performing sexual acts... either you choose to have sex or you choose not to have sex. Seems simple right? Well, unfortunately humans are far from simple creatures and that always mucks up things for everyone.
I've thought long and hard about when I chose to be gay and I can't remember ever doing that. I can remember wondering why I felt this way, I remember making the choice to date and sleep with men, but I don't ever remember making the choice to be attracted to women.
Using the word choice implies that there is thought put into the actions that are taken. I never thought about being attracted to women, I had to think about being attracted to men.
Did I make a choice to act on the attraction I felt to women, in some ways it would probably be fair to say that I did. I never made a choice to find women attractive though, and that makes all the difference.
So, here's what I think... At least for me, being homosexual isn't a choice, because I define homosexuality as attraction (sexual, romantic, intimate, whatever) to people of the same gender. I never choose to be homosexual, I did choose to act on those feelings because they are natural for me, where being attracted to men isn't natural for me.
People don't choose to be gay anymore than people choose to be straight, the only choice is if you will or won't act on that attraction. If someone hates being out the in middle of a large body of water, should they be cured of that dislike by being taken into the middle of the ocean, tossed overboard and told to just get used to it? No one would think that was a good idea, but that's what it felt like for me when I tried to be straight. I kept thinking that it would get easier, feel more natural, if I just kept trying to make it work. Until one day I realized that it should be easy, feel natural without trying to force it... and I looked for the reason why it wasn't easy or natural. That's when I made my choice, accept myself for who and what I am, or keep treading water, waiting for the time I would just get used to it.
I made the choice to accept myself. Before I decided to accept it I decided that being in a relationship wasn't something that I could do, I would always be alone. Then suddenly once I did accept it I discovered that I could have good, happy, successful, and not so successful, relationships.
To sum up for you... Being homosexual isn't a choice, being sexually active is a choice, one that both homosexuals and heterosexuals make... See we're not that different after all.
